Stress, Imagine Your Way To Reducing It

It might have begun with a picture in your mind’s eye of a sea shore at dusk.  You pictured the large blue waves rolling over the shoreline…the pristine sand in the foreground…the sun gently setting in the west.  You might have imagined sea gulls gently flying past and children building sand castles along the shore.  This was the image you might have taken with you as you began your labor for childbirth.  It might have been one of a number of relaxation techniques you learned in your childbirth preparation classes.

         Or perhaps you envisioned white blood cells swallowing up the cancer cells in your system.  You imagined the cancer cells slowly disappearing from view, with healthy cells taking their place in your body.  You even imagined your doctor saying, “You’re cancer-free” with a big grin on his face.

         Guided imagery is used in a variety of different settings.  Its primary purpose is to allow you to imagine relaxing images in order to calm your mind and refresh your body.  If you envision a peaceful scene, and couple that vision with controlled breathing, you can achieve deep relaxation.  Nearly anyone can learn to exercise his or her imagination this way.  It costs nothing, and it can benefit you greatly in terms of lowering your stress level.  

           One of the most popularrelaxation exercises is the peaceful scene.  You imagine a place of comfort, the kind of place you would go to if you were in trouble and needed solace.  For many people, this is a beach or a forest.  You then imagine what the experience will mean for your senses—what you will see, what you will hear, what you will feel, and perhaps what you will smell.  You become a part of the scene, drinking in the tranquility.  Whenever you’re stressed out, you can return to this scene and a feeling of relaxation should occur.

          Another well-known imagery exercise is the feather.  Imagine a feather drifting along a mountain…by a river…and over a field.  Picture yourself as that feather.  Notice how light and airy you feel as a feather.   Imagine that you don’t have a care in the world, you have nowhere you have to be, no appointments to make.  You’re just a feather enjoying your place in the sun.  

           Or picture yourself as a drop of water in the ocean.  Gently sway back and forth as the water moves peacefully along the shore.  Let nothing worry you.  Your only goal in life is to be happy.     

           But what if you try imagery and it doesn’t seem to work?  The trick may be practice.  The more you imagine your quiet place, the easier it should be to get there.  You may have to try it for a week before you can determine if it is actually impossible for you.  Also, it is vitally important that you maintain deep breathing throughout the exercise.  It is no surprise that pregnant women often practice relaxation exercises every week. 

         Where should you practice this imagery?  The good news is, you can do it practically anywhere.  However, you should choose a place where your comfortable, such as your bed, an easy chair, or a chaise lounge.  At times, it may be easier to do the exercise if you’re outside rather than inside, although it would also be appropriate by the fireplace.  Try engaging in imagery for five minutes before you go to sleep or five minutes after you wake up.  Imagery is a skill like any other; you must do it consistently in order for it to be effective.   

            Initially, you might be skeptical about imagery.  You might have a difficult time with your imagination and you might be uncomfortable at first.  In order to be successful with imagery you need to be committed.  Continue your imagery, even when you feel like quitting.  In this way, you should be able to get past any trepidation you might have.  In time, the imagery will become entirely natural to you.  Whenever you encounter a stressful situation, you can simply move back to your peaceful place…imagine yourself as a wave of the ocean…or picture yourself as a feather.  While it may seem corny, it is a highly effective method for reducing your stress level.

Stressing Out Because Of Kids?

Remember the first time you saw your first-born child?  You might have been amazed at her eyes, or mesmerized by the perfection of his hands.  You might have dutifully recorded the first smile, the first laughs, the first steps, the first dance.  He or she became the most important individual in your life.  When that little person came into your world, you knew that your life had changed forever.

       There is nothing quite like the joy of parenthood.  It can lift your spirits on the most miserable day.  It gives you a reason to rise in the morning, and a good excuse for blowing bubbles, catching fireflies, or gazing at a fireworks display.  When you give your child a hug at night, you know that all is right with the universe.

         However, parenthood can also be quite stressful.  There are so many demands on your time, so many commitments you need to fulfill.  Your responsibilities can leave you feeling anxious and frustrated.  If your child is sick, or is having trouble in school, or has become involved in drug or alcohol abuse, your stress level could rise to the max.

         Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to eliminate the stressors associated with parenthood.  They simply come with the territory.  While you can guide your child, you cannot expect to control him or her, particularly when your child reaches the teenage years.  Therefore, you have to learn to somehow manage the stress of parenthood before it gets the better of you.

          The most important strategy you can adopt is to keep the communication going between yourself and your child, even when it becomes difficult.  Your stress level will be greatly reduced if you can talk with your child, especially when something is bothering him or her.  It is important for your child to know that your love is unconditional, and that he or she can turn to you at any time of the day or night.  Strengthening the bond of trust can do a great deal to eliminate your stress.

          Another stress-reducing tact you can take is to set aside time to spend with your child—other than helping him or her with homework.  This is particularly important if you have more than one child.  You need some fun time with your child—to let him or her know that you care.  Plan for an afternoon of rollerskating or an evening playing checkers.  You’ll find that such relaxing activities can help to alleviate your stress.

         Also, it is important that you build into your day a break in the action.  Have your husband or wife watch the children for ten minutes while you re-group.  This is particularly important if you find yourself under so much stress that you are about to lose your temper.  Give yourself a timeout—and watch your stress level drop considerably.

        Mention needs to be made about the special stress that single parents feel.  Theirs is a difficult lot and the pressures can be intense.  That is why it is so critically important for single parents to strengthen their support systems.  They need to have a parent, brother or sister, or friend they can rely on when the stress of parenting becomes overwhelming.  Just having someone to talk to can be a tremendous stress-reliever.  In other cases, a single parent might need someone to watch his or her children for the night so that the parent can re-group.  Asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it is indicative of great emotional strength.  If you find yourself falling apart, don’t wait for a crisis to get some assistance.  If you turn to others for support, you will find that your family unit will only grow stronger.  

         Parenting is perhaps the single greatest responsibility a person can hold.  As a result, there is a tremendous amount of stress involved.  Recognizing that fact is an important part of the parenting process.  Once you are attuned to stress—and the causes of it—you are more likely to be able to manage it well.   It is important also for you to recognize that stress management is an on-going process—that it doesn’t happen overnight.  However, with time, you can become a first-rate stress manager.