Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The Stress of Forgiving Yourself and Others



At some point in our lives, all of us have been wronged by another person and felt hurt, angry or stressed. This is a natural reaction and part of being human. However, if we do not resolve or come to terms with these hurts, they drive our actions and create a negative way of life. By harboring past hurts, we have the potential to do far more harm to ourselves than anyone else can possibly do.
                                                                                               
                “All illness is caused by not forgiving.”
                                – Native American belief

Forgiving others – or yourself – does not mean forgetting or condoning what happened, or giving up the values that were violated or assuming you are at fault; nor is it condemning the other person or seeking justice or compensation. Forgiveness can be viewed as foregoing the resentment or revenge when the wrongdoer’s action deserves it and giving the gifts of mercy, generosity and love when the wrongdoer does not seem to deserve them. To release the shackles of the past, we must be willing to forgive.

Forgiveness is about creating a state “for giving” – both to self and others – and excusing a mistake or an offense and letting go of the associated hurt, anxiety, anger or resentment. Because forgiveness has the greatest benefit to the person doing the forgiving, it is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself.

Forgiving allows us to get on with our lives and to open up our minds and hearts to new ways of seeing others, the world and ourselves. It releases energy that can be used for other, more productive thoughts and actions.

Forgiving yourself and others can be the greatest anti-anxiety pill that you can give yourself. If you ever want to live a stress free and positive life you have to practice the natural remedies of forgiveness. Simple minded people often sicken themselves pondering negative and destructive attitudes towards others, over things that are not very important to begin with. By harboring past hurts, we have the potential to do far more harm to ourselves than anyone else can possibly do.

So, the next time you are tempted to carry on a grudge for months and years on in give thought to the possibilities that presents itself if you are willing to create a state of “for giving” and enjoy your life with freedom of stress from not forgiving someone.

Take this path to great mental and physical health, you want be sorry.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Never Have a Fear of Anxiety or Success



Many people never set any goals because of a phenomenon known as "fear of failure" . They are paralyzed by the fear and anxiety of not succeeding. However, another major fear that is even more widespread and probably has stopped you from achieving your goals and it's often overlooked. In fact you may not even know you have it. It is the state known as "fear of success".

It is well documented that many people fail to achieve their goals in life due to the phenomenon known as "fear of failure" but are you aware that a major factor that is often overlooked, is a state known as "fear of success"?

Fear of failure will lead many people into inertia - the inability to make decision or take action in case they receive rejection or negative outcomes. This mental state is fairly easy to identify and there are many tools in the personal development industry to help combat this plague and reprogram the mind for success. However, the fear of success is much more subtle, harder to spot and also harder to eradicate.

Perhaps you have this tendency in your life. Here are some indications of a fear of success mentality.

Studying and trying to implement self-improvement techniques and/or personal development tools but your life does not improve or may even get worse as you try to cure yourself by these natural remedies.

You settle for less than you feel you deserve or are capable of achieving.

You start new projects full of enthusiasm and optimism but wane in your efforts or stop short before you have completed them.

You expect things to go wrong no matter how well the situation appears to be at the moment.

Can you identify your own simple fearful patterns in any of the above statements?

The fear of success can also make you behave in ways that hold you back. Look at the list below. These are the symptoms of the fear of success.

Procrastination - putting off what needs to be done or not doing what you know will bring you closer to your desired result. Everyone suffers from this inner 'demon' at some point in their lives (although some of us suffer from it more than others!).

Procrastination is a 'success killer'! How can you expect to reach your destination if you do not take steps towards it? This killer can cause so much stress in your life that you can become paralyzed. Strive to do little things each day that will bring you small steps closer to your goal. This is why having a personal development plan is an essential ingredient in the fight against procrastination. Take action! Any action! Refine your steps as you go along but do not sit and do nothing. Taking action is one of the key aspects in personal development.

Can't see the forest for the trees! - this is almost the opposite of procrastination but has the same effect on your personal development. The aforementioned saying is well known but have you ever given it real consideration?

Don't get caught up in your plan believing that it is more important than the materialized goal! For many years I got caught in this trap. I started to think and act as though my plan was more important than my end result and thus missed many opportunities to alter my path and reach my goals more quickly! Let go of your ego and allow the Universe to show you a quicker route to your goal. Remain flexible.

Thinking that the time is not right - have you ever waited until the timing was perfect before starting a venture? Have you ever waited until you had more information on a better plan?

Again ACTION is the key to the door to success. Taking small steps forward are better than taking none or waiting to see if your foot is landing on the right spot! Even if your actions take you away from your goal you have at least gained insight and knowledge about what does not work!

Being a perfectionist - this is similar to the point above and has the same effect, namely, that you never really move forward. No matter how good a job is when it’s finished it can always be improved! I have heard many great musicians tell how they hate listening to their own songs because they can find a million things that need improvement. Yet, we still enjoy them. I think a classic example of this is "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Paul Simon. This song is hauntingly beautiful yet Mr. Simon does not think it’s good enough!

Seeing only problems - how do you use your focus? Do you constantly see only and all the problems involved? If you are this way inclined it is pointless trying to change overnight! However, you can use this mindset to your advantage while you strive in your personal development to acquire an opportunistic frame of mind instead.

"How can you use seeing only problems to my advantage?" you say. "Easily", is my reply! Look at the problems and prepare a plan to deal with them. Every time you overcome one congratulate yourself. Use them as a gauge for your achievements. If you keep seeing more problems remind yourself of how well you dealt with the others. Look at how far you have come! If you see a problem ask yourself, "how best can I overcome this challenge"? or "how quickly can I rectify this situation"? The quality of your questions are important as I have outlined in a previous article. Use the problems as fact finders. Is there a real problem now? If so then deal with it. Is it a potential problem? If so then create a contingency plan in case it does occur but don't get caught up in it just be prepared.

Enjoy the journey, follow the above guidelines and you will achieve success. Eventually stress will dissipate and your fear of success will dissolve and you will have moved a long way forward in your personal development.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Reduce Stress By Exercising



It is easy to let stress take over your life.  From career to family to health to money to any and everything in between, most people feel like there simply isn’t enough time in a day to get everything done.  Stress is bad enough in and of itself, but stress can also cause real physical and emotional harm if it is allowed to go unchecked.  There are many drugs that are designed to reduce stress, but is putting extra drugs and chemicals in your system really the best way to balance things out?  There is a better way to reduce stress in your life.

One of the best and most tried and true ways for reducing stress is through meditation.  Though it may sound intimidating, meditation has occurred in every culture in one form or another through out history.  The following steps will help you learn to clear your mind and relax, and you will be amazed at how the stress seems to just melt away!

Begin each relaxation time by reducing distractions, noise, and interruptions.  Give yourself the time and privacy you need.  Find a comfortable sitting position, wear loose and comfortable clothing.  Relax and take several deep breathes.  Close your eyes and try to mentally focus on one peaceful word, thought, or image.  If there is a picture, a memory, anything that tends to calm you, try to picture that.  For some people it’s the sound of the ocean, for others waterfalls, and for yet others, the memory of staring off a mountain peak.  Clear your head, and let your muscles loosen up, don’t worry about what is going on around you.  Relax and enjoy the peace that your image brings to you.
 
When you feel yourself drifting away from the image, don’t force it to stay.  This is a good time to stop.  Stretch and exhale deeply as you wrap up.  This is the most initial and basic form of meditation.  While it would work in and of itself to reduce stress, this is also the basis for several other exercises and meditations.  When you choose to push on, you will always want to start with this basic meditation and relaxation.  As you go into further exercises, concentrate on whatever phrases help you relax.  “Nice and easy,” is a good generic one, while Christian meditation may use a scripture such as “Be still, and know I am the Lord.”  There are meditative scriptures for almost any faith, and plenty of non-religious phrases, chants, or incantations.  Find the phrase that works for you, and look around for other exercises.  Meditation is a great way to relax, and will do more to improve your health and reduce stress than any drug, and the only side effect is a calmer healthier life as a result of your improved mood!

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

A Practical Suggestion For When You are Stressed Out



This can be an unbelievable tip from the start, for your Health that may allow you to help yourself when  you’re burdened, indignant, anxious or upset. Try holding your frontal eminences. These are bumps in your forehead that many individuals maintain instinctively once they're upset.

For those of you who don't do that naturally, let me make it less complicated to find them. Really really feel up from the middle of your eyebrows going in the route of your hairline. Your forehead comes outwards sooner than it curves again in the path of the hairline. Maintain your forehead at the place it's furthest out - about 3cms (1.25 inches) above the center of every eyebrow.

As you hold these places take into consideration the hectic event. It can be one thing that has already occurred, something that is about to happen, or something you worry may in no way happen! Steadily you must discover that the stress lessens.

You have to use it for small things, nonetheless it's moreover doable to use it for additional traumatic events too. If the ideas/pictures are too overwhelming initially, think about your watching it on TV chances are you'll at all times swap it off if turns too aggravating - you are the one in charge. You will discover a strategy to watch it in black and white if that feels easier too. Use it to defuse one thing that you simply just really feel anxious, pressured, offended or fearful about.

You would possibly need to do it a number of times defending completely different elements of the problem. You are in a position to do them one after the other, or at utterly totally different times, whichever feels right for you.

As you maintain the components and take into consideration/think about the event, you may more than likely start to really feel calmer - likelihood is you'll even discover that you simply begin to really feel a little bit of bored fascinated by this case that previously confused or angered you so much.

Why does it work?

These express factors on the forehead, known as frontal eminences, are reflex factors with connections to the central meridian (involved with the brain), the stomach meridian (and your abdomen normally churns when you're anxious or offended), and the bladder meridian (journeys to the john/toilet are sometimes compulsory as quickly as we're apprehensive).

I not too long ago explained this self-assist technique to a enterprise colleague - a eager mountain biker who'd had a severe bike accident at 30 miles an hour and had damaged his cranium and collar bone. His bones had mended, however he was now typically afraid of the sport he loved.

This is a message I received from him later:

"I do not know the greatest technique to thank you for the technique you described to me over the cellphone the other day, it helped me enormously!"

The subsequent week he despatched me this message:

"Your tip was great,  as soon as I had the chance I went out (in the pitch black with my Light&Motion 'daylighter' light) and did some vital single-tracking and downhilling!!! I by no means thought I was likely to be doing that once more - ever! Thanks loads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was wise advice!!!!!!!"

It may be onerous to think about one thing this simple could very correctly be effective in removing anxiety and stress, nevertheless try it and see.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Sometimes Stress Becomes Unbearable



A soldier, just back from the war in Iraq, is haunted by nightmares of bodies on the battlefield.  A woman keeps replaying in her mind the day that she was brutally raped.  A man has flashbacks of the time that he was beaten by his step-father.  These incidents are the result of stress—a special kind of stress.  It is a stress so overpowering, so overwhelming that it is known as post-traumatic stress disorder. 
          The important thing to remember about post-traumatic stress disorder is that it is far more common than one might think.  First brought to the public’s attention following the Vietnam War, post-traumatic stress disorder afflicts everyone from earthquake victims to survivors of kidnapping.  Often, PTSD, as it is known, occurs when an individual’s life has been threatened, or the life of someone close to him or her has been jeopardized.   More than five million people are believed to be affected by the disorder. 
            There are a number of tell-tale signs of post-traumatic stress disorder.  For instance, an individual might experience continual flashbacks or nightmares.  He or she may experience feelings of irritability or frustration.  He or she might have an exaggerated startle response, such as jumping when hearing a noise in an otherwise quiet room.  He or she may lose interest in work, relationships, or other things that used to be enjoyed.  The symptoms may become especially pronounced when the anniversary of the traumatic event rolls around. 
         Although stories of soldiers with PTSD are well-known, women are actually more susceptible to the disorder.  Also, there is evidence that there may be a genetic predisposition for PTSD.  PTSD can lead to major depression, alcoholism, or drug abuse.  If a specific person was responsible for the trauma—say a husband, boyfriend, or neighbor—the after-effects may be particularly bad.
           It is interesting to note that a specific sound or smell can trigger a flashback for an individual suffering from PTSD.  This is part of the reason that the disorder is so troubling.  In essence, the individual has difficulty escaping the memory of what happened to him or her.  The recurring nightmares and flashbacks are signs that the individual has not been able to process the memory appropriately.
         An individual afflicted with PTSD may feel a sense of hopelessness.  Since his or her ordeal seems to be repeating itself, he or she may find it difficult to come to terms with the event.  This is why PTSD is such a debilitating condition.  However, it is important to recognize the fact that there is hope for those struggling with this disorder.  Through talk therapy and medication, an individual can learn how to properly process the traumatic memory.  The nightmares and flashbacks eventually disappear, as the individual receives a new leash on life.  
        It should be pointed out that there is no instant fix or cure for PTSD.  It can haunt people for months, if not years.  It is a mental condition that is still shrouded in a great deal of secrecy.  There are also many misunderstandings about the disorder.  It may cause someone to miss work, or to lose his or her job entirely.  It can wreck marriages and other close relationships.   A great deal of additional research needs to be done in order to adequately address the problem of PTSD.
         In the meantime, there are specific steps you can take to lessen the likelihood that you will suffer from the disorder.  If you have become the victim of a traumatic event, seek help immediately.  Discuss the incident with your family doctor and ask him or her for a referral to a therapist and psychiatrist.  Don’t wait until your symptoms are out of control before you seek help.   While this type of stress is not curable, it is entirely treatable.  The important thing for you to remember is that you are not alone, that there are a number of mental health experts who stand ready to help you.  Also, try to think of yourself as a survivor rather than as a victim.  You may find you are better able to cope with the stress that way.  Also, recognize the fact that the incident, though traumatic, has passed.  Once you realize that you are unlikely again to go through such a horror, you may be able to put the incident into the proper perspective.