Your air conditioner quits; you get fired; you fail a test; your 13 year old son is arrested for shoplifting; or you find out you have cancer. These are just a few of life's events that trigger stress, frustration, anxiety, or depression. Medical experts estimate that stress which is unresolved or becomes chronic accounts for more than 90 percent of all illnesses and trips to the doctor. This article reveals 15 secrets for combating stress in your life.
NURTURING PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
1. CREATE BOUNDARIES.
Nurturing personal relationships is impossible without boundaries. Boundaries reflect what other people can or cannot do or say to you, for instance, "I am only able to listen to you when you speak calmly without shouting." This will leave you feeling protected from hurtful situations. Learn to say "No." You are not Superman (or Wonder Woman). You simply cannot do it all! Trying will leave you disappointed, stressed out, and feeling like a failure. Creating boundaries will help you combat stress.
2. ASK PEOPLE TO HELP YOU.
Asking for help is an essential stress reducer in nurturing personal relationships. Don't be so full of pride! Choose 3 things today that you can receive help with and ask for it. You will have less to cope with and get done, you can stop being the hero who does it all, and you will allow the other person to feel important and have a sense of responsibility and personal accomplishment. And you can lessen the stress in your own life in the process.
3. PLAN A FUN ACTIVITY EVERY DAY. HAVE FUN!
Nurturing personal relationships includes having fun! Research shows that people who pursue recreational activities on a regular basis are more satisfied with their lives and in better health. If you're not having enough fun, sit down and list some fun activities you can integrate in your life It can be for 15 minutes or as long as you want. And it doesn't have to cost a lot of money either. Watch a comedy, go dancing, swimming, play your favorite sport, or have a water-pistol fight with friends. Go to a movie, on a picnic, or fishing at a local pond. You will have something to look forward to each and every day, keeping fun and balance in your life. And you will build better relationships with family members and friends. As our children were growing up we called it "making memories." Recreational activities are a prime source of stress release.
4. COMMUNICATE YOUR FEELINGS.
Properly communicating your feelings is essential in nurturing personal relationships. Use the statement "I feel...." when communicating your feelings to others. For example, "I feel unimportant when you don't telephone me if you are going to be late." Or you could say, "I feel loved when you volunteer to do the dishes after supper." Here's another. "I feel great pride when I know you are doing your best in school." The important thing in communication of feelings is to deal with the issue, not personalities. You will feel less conflict when you take ownership for your feelings and talk about the other person's behavior, not about them personally. This kind of communication leads to much less stress and frustration in personal relationships.
5. USE THE WORDS "WOULD YOU PLEASE..." WHEN ASKING FOR THINGS.
Kind words are an important part of nurturing personal relationships. For example, "Would you please look after my plants while I am on vacation?" "Would you please take the garbage down on your way to work tomorrow?" "Would you please pick up some milk on your way home tonight?" You are more likely to achieve a 'yes' as the other person is left feeling capable and having a choice rather than being told to what to do. Reducing the confrontations in your relationships will reduce stress in your life.
6. SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION.
Nurturing personal relationships includes demonstrating appreciation and gratitude to others. Every day tell someone that you appreciate them, "I appreciate the way you've supported me through this emotional time." "I'm grateful that you have picked up the household chores while I've been working overtime." We all want and need to feel appreciated! Demonstrate your appreciation every chance you get. Send a "Thank You" card to a colleague for a job well done. Send a "Friendship Card" to someone who's gone out of their way to help you. Bring home flowers to your wife (even wildflowers picked in the woods mean a great deal) to show appreciation to your wife or significant other – "Just Because!" (The first time she'll think you're fooling around on her, but do it often enough and she'll soon begin to appreciate it. Demonstrating your appreciation to others will help you be more cognizant of their good behaviors, and allow also you to live a more loving and less stressed life.
NURTURING YOUR MIND.
7. QUIET YOUR MIND AT LEAST ONCE A DAY.
Nurturing your mind is vital to stress free living. Go somewhere quiet. No people talking, no TV or radio, no "hurry." Relax, concentrate on your breathing and let all of your thoughts go. You will then be able to listen fully to what your body is telling you and act more on your intuition and what's right for you physically and mentally. You can then think more clearly on important matters, instead of filling your mind and your day with "clutter." You'll be amazed at how your stress levels will drop if you will do this consistently.
8. FULLY EXPLORE AND EXPERIENCE YOUR FEELINGS.
Nurturing your mind includes exploring and experiencing your feelings. For example, when you feel sad allow yourself to be sad for a time, rather than trying to pick yourself up and pretend it doesn't manner. God gave us all out emotions. It's okay to feel sad, happy, angry, joyful, frustrated, elated...accepting your feelings rather than fighting them will help you know where to make changes in your life and reduce stress.
9. JOURNAL EVERY DAY.
Journaling is an excellent source for nurturing your mind. Find a time that works best for you, maybe first thing in the morning or last thing at night and write down your thoughts, feelings, ideas, relationship issues, and stressful situations. Your journal (or diary, if you wish) is a safe place for you explore and clarify your life and priorities, enabling you to make choices and to take action based on those choices. It will give you a sense of direction, help you learn from mistakes of the past, and greatly reduce your stress level.
NURTURING YOUR BODY.
10. TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF.
Nurturing your body means taking time for yourself. You might enjoy a long bubble bath, reading a good book, having quiet time alone or whatever works for you. Maybe you enjoy walking the dog in the local park, or walking in the woods alone. Maybe you enjoy motorcycle riding, bicycle riding, flying RC planes, or baking. For you it may be "surfing the net," building model cars, sewing or knitting. I personally enjoy woodworking and woodcarving. The point is to do something that allows you to feel good about yourself and makes you more relaxed and energized to enjoy your life more fully. It will combat stress and relieve tension.
11. EAT NUTRITIONALLY.
Good nutrition is a major aspect of nurturing your body. Chronic stress robs your body of nutrients like vitamins C and B complex, as well as protein. So, what's a stressed-out body to do? First, make sure you eat at least five servings of fruits and vegetables daily, and eat some protein (fish, poultry, lean meats, legumes, or low-fat dairy products) with every meal. Include several servings of whole grains each day as well. You should also take a daily multi- vitamin/mineral/antioxidant supplement as nutritional insurance. Your stress levels will soon be much lower.
12. EXERCISE.
Nurturing your body includes exercise. Exercise, particularly weightlifting (strength training) and aerobics, are two of the most effective ways to dissipate physical and emotional stress. They speed up the metabolism (assisting with weight loss), enhance the body's production of endorphins, and relieve muscular tension brought on by stress and anxiety. In fact, numerous studies have shown that aerobic exercise and weight training can be an effective part of the treatment for anxiety and stress reduction.
13. GET PLENTY OF REST.
Rest (including sleep), allows the body to heal injuries and infections, eliminate toxins and waste products, reduce or even eliminate stress, replenish fuel stores in your muscle fibers and bloodstream, and restore energy. Ideally, adults should get 7-8 hours of sleep per night. If that isn't possible, try building in a "power nap" during the day. Even 20 minutes can reap great physical benefits and reduce stress. Rest is an essential element in nurturing your body and combating stress.
NURTURING YOUR SOUL.
14 PRAY.
Nurturing your soul includes prayer. Research has shown that people who believe in God and regularly pray feel a greater sense of purpose in life. They also tend to live longer and have fewer health problems. So whatever you may think about prayer – it certainly can't hurt! So give it a try. In her book Heart Whispers: Benedictine Wisdom for Today, Dr. Elizabeth Canham outlines the five-step prayer exercise with which she routinely ends her day.
A. Give Thanks.
Reflect back on the day, looking for all the gifts God has given you, and also for the moments in which your needs might have been revealed. Express your gratitude to God for gifts received and allow that gratitude to sink into your heart.
B. Ask for Insights and Intercede.
Pray that the Holy Spirit will reveal to you insights about the day's events that you might not have seen by yourself. Intercede on behalf of someone else who needs a touch from God in their life.
C. Look for God.
Go over the day's events again, this time focusing on the various moods and emotions you experienced. What might those emotions have been telling you about the will of God? Was God pulling you in a particular direction? Were you especially aware of God's presence in another person during the day? How did you respond to these experiences or situations?
D. Express Repentance and Gratitude
Ask God to forgive you for your sins, and those moments when you were unresponsive to His Divine presence, and pray for the willingness to be more responsive in the future. Give God thanks and praise for those moments when you were responsive to His Will.
E. Receive Help and Guidance for Tomorrow.
Ask God to give you whatever you will need to move faithfully through tomorrow. Pray specifically for the strength to deal with your spiritual struggles, such as fighting anger or finding the ability to forgive. Ask Him to provide your daily needs for food, clothing, shelter, work, and love.
Follow these steps or develop your own. The bottom line is that prayer changes things, mainly you! And the more you pray, the more you will think of the needs of others; and the more you think of others, the less you think about yourself, thus reducing stress in your life.
15. READ THE BIBLE AND POSITIVE DEVOTIONAL MATERIALS.
Nurturing your soul is not that complicated. There are volumes and volumes of books on the market today to encourage, uplift, and inspire you. Just go to any bookstore or Christian bookstore and ask for assistance. You'll be inundated with helpful materials. In my opinion, you still can't beat The Bible (still the best selling book of all time!). The Bible is filled with principles for living a stress free life! This is not intended to be a sermon, so I'll just give you two examples. The apostle Paul writes, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7). Jesus Himself tells us, "Come unto me, everyone who labors and is heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and humble of heart: and you will find rest for your tired and weary souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." The bottom line is, He cares! Jesus is in the business of nurturing your soul. And the more at peace you are in your soul, the less stress you will experience in your daily life.
None of us can ever live a completely stress free life all the time. In fact, trying to live completely stress free just causes more stress! But combating and reducing stress will improve every area of your life. By following the 15 "secrets" outlined above, thus nurturing personal relationships, nurturing your mind, nurturing your body, and nurturing your soul, you can make great progress toward combating the stress in your life.
Danny Presswood, 2006 All Rights Reserved.
Danny Presswood is a retired US Army Combat (Airborne) Chaplain. He and his wife Cheri now live in the wooded Ozarks hills of SW MO. Presently working on his Doctorate, Danny writes the Feature Articles and Newsletter for K-9 Outfitters, A Division of Damascus Road Enterprises, which offers a plethora of AWESOME discount, luxury, unique, and Handmade in the USA Online Dog Supplies. K-9 Outfitters, A Division of Damascus Road Enterprises
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