Are you living a stress-free life?
Are you able to deal effectively with the increasing levels of stress and tension that modern living throws at us?
Would you welcome a proven set of strategies for dealing effectively with stress and anxiety?
We present a tested 5-part strategy for responding when the storms of life are raging. Life's challenges might be presenting in the form of the death of a loved one; financial problems; breaking up; conflict; marital problems; loneliness; fear; weight loss; illness; coping at work and the list goes on.
This 5-point framework for managing stress and anxiety works in virtually every case:
Strategy #1: Approach with certainty
Research data suggests that when persons are in a state of uncertainty stressors and issues that prompt anxiety seem to have greater impact. The challenges seem to be amplified. From that it would appear that people who approach trials and troubles with confidence and certainty cope better. In other words, if two individuals face identical difficulties the one with a positive outlook is going to manage the stressful situation better than the one who is pessimistic.
A quote from the Hypnotherapy in London website is instructive:
"Whenever we encounter a stressful event, our bodies undergo a series of involuntary hormonal and biochemical changes. This automatic stress response, also called the fight-or-flight reaction, puts our bodies in alarm mode: heart rate speeds up, breath becomes shallow, muscles tense, and our digestive and immune systems temporarily shut down. The stress response is helpful in true emergency situations, but when it's activated on a frequent basis it puts strain on both mind and body."
Our own coaching of sales professionals highlight the differences in results that come from approaching high stress sales encounters with a sense of assurance that your offer is irresistible as against focusing on potential objections that may be raised.
There is an innate animal instinct that seems to be able to pick up fear and doubt in others. There is a tendency to take advantage of those who are unsure.
A pretty graphic representation of the importance of positive expectation and the avoidance of doubt comes from this quote from the book of James.
"But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do." James 1: 6 - 8
Having to contend with serious-looking dogs is a highly stressful event for me. I reflect on a situation in which my fears kept me stranded during one of my morning jogs. Two mean looking hounds had been locked out of their gate and were standing directly in my way back home.
I spent a considerable amount of time hoping that a car would come by to give me a drive past the dogs.
Finally, I mustered up the confidence to move forward. To my amazement and relief, the "fearful hounds" did not even appear to notice my presence. What a relief!
From this we see that doubt and fear brought on immense stress levels and a heightened state of anxiety. When confidence and assurance replaced doubt and fear, stress was relieved and the situation resolved.
What if I had been attacked?
One philosophy that helps considerably when dealing with stressful situations is the recognition that achieving our goals and being guided by our principles is often accompanied by some pain and suffering. That is where the "no pain, no gain" phrase comes in.
I am personally encouraged by the philosophy of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego as recounted in Daniel 3:17 - 18:
"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."
Christians marvel at how non-believers are able to cope with the storms of life. Unbelievers mock Christians by saying that they petition God for something, if they get it, they credit it to their prayers. If they do not get it they say that God knows best. While that is meant to be a criticism it is in fact something worthy of praise. In effect, the Christians rely on the certainty of God's providence as they face traumatic situations. They are able to deal with tense experiences with a confidence that reduces the level of nervous tension.
Strategy #2: Deal with the facts…the bare facts
All too often we place ourselves in the role of a storyteller. We face one set of facts and we rush off to create situations that may not even occur. We think negative thoughts if we are called to the CEO's office.
I recall a case in which a criminal was busted by mistakenly assuming that he was being accosted about a crime he had committed.
This extension of the facts produces unnecessary tension and reduces our capacity to address stress inducing situations as they really are. Watch how you add on to what is. We tend to add on negative thoughts, not positive ones. That runs counter to what we really want.
Stick to the bare facts. "I do not have the funds to pay this month's rent."
This is not to be expanded into the list of possible consequences that might follow from that situation. At this point in time, we are content to recognize the basic fact, not to embellish it.
Strategy #3: Invite Divine Intervention
The Bible extols the virtue of prayer and supplication. James assures us that the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. Outside of invoking the power of God, prayer has the additional benefit of helping us to focus on the resolution of the issues at hand. We petition God about things that we figure will resolve the issue. It helps to direct us to the way forward.
Prayer also has the effect of calming our frazzled nerves. By appealing to a higher authority we grow in confidence and we feel better about the situation.
Christians strive to comply with the command that they should not be anxious about anything. (Phil 4:6)
Strategy #4: Take action that supports your prayers
When we pray we should act as if our prayers are being answered. We have to proceed with the assurance that God's providence is going to be granted to us and all our actions should reflect that confidence. It makes no sense to pray fervently for a particular outcome and then set about doing things that run counter to what we have prayed about. True faith requires us to act in accordance with our prayers.
Jesus Christ exposes great wisdom as He teaches His disciples: "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." (Mark 11:24)
Many times we sabotage our own efforts through a lack of belief and self-doubt. Our actions must be in keeping with our commitment to achieve our goals.
Strategy #5: Get the support of others
When the storms of life are raging it makes good sense to seek to weather them with the support of others. Sometimes things are just a little too much for us to handle on our own.
Even those of us who are well balanced and firmly grounded need support at times. We should be willing to seek assistance - even just moral support when we face difficult times. That is one of the reasons for the Christian fellowship. We are to be our brother's keepers. Gal 6: 2 Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
I have found that simply sharing the problem that I am facing with others reduces the level of tension and anxiety. Even if they just listen, some of the pressure is released. However, seeking wise counsel does a lot more than passively reducing anxiety.
Putting yourself in a position to benefit from good advice is one of best steps you can take to deal effectively with stress and anxiety. Apply the 5 strategies and watch how much better you cope with potentially stressful situations. You will be less anxious as you navigate the complexities of life.
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TrevorESSmith is an author (Success in Marriage). He is a people skills and performance enhancement coach.http://www.swpacademy.com.
He presents unique insights on issues related to inter-personal relationships, stress, conflict, anxiery, marriage, leadership, marketing, customer service& behaviour modification.
http://trevoressmith.com
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